set me free

Set me free
Dönt remind me of the fossiled past,
the lost voices, forgotten names,
faded memories of untraceable faces,
empty ruins of a deserted castle
filld with pregnant memories.
I dont wish to build my future on the grave of a ruined past.
Let memories die.
Let pain lay buried.
Let the mind be blank.
Let emotions freeze.
Let time accelerate.
Set me free.
Of all bonds of yesteryears.
Set me free.
Let me feel the fragrance of today
and the magic of tomorrow.
Just set me free n let me be.

DENIM CULT ?ICE BLUE JEANS

DENIM CULT?
There’s always a need.. the need to be cuddled, the need to feel warm , the need to be wrapped in love, the need to feel cozy, the need to go out and just feel the sunshine , the need to feel innocent, the need to drive out the blues, the need to blow the whistles, the need to kick the pebbles , the need to jump in the air and feel the wings on your hair , the need to just let go and let your feelings overflow , need to laugh , to cry , to smile, to cheer and feel the quintessential essence of life . .. Phew! .. an array ... the list may seem endless but the one panacea for all these maladies .. a cozy ,crunchy, soft & flurry , the one & only... an old & faded pair of ICE BLUE JEANS.
For those of you readers who feel that the crescendo leading to the “so-called climax” ends up as a drab and dumb anticlimax , let me enlighten you on the oh so wonderful prospects , implications, considerations (not to mention complications ) of owning an old & faded pair of that wonder apparel – THE ICE BLUE JEANS .
Long years ago , the denim jean was probably the staple attire of sailors & workers , cowboys & rebellious teenagers in America but thanks to commercial production & proliferation and popularization of the garment worldwide , we now have a universal applicability for the garment , be it casual , semi formal or even formal occasions where it is slowly gaining acceptance. Good Lord !! .. now let me not take you through a serious history class and bore you with facts & figures for which you have no real appetite for (and no real need as well ).
Getting to the matter right away , let me enlist a series of scenarios where none else could have helped you but for your old pair of ICE BLUE JEANS .

• SUMMER : Summer hols.. sibling fun.. boys dominate the play while girls are made fools. There’s this occasion when a cousin bro instigates you to climb a tree and even helps you get to the top of the tallest branch and when u get there, conveniently jumps down leaving you aghast & helpless hanging on to the branch like a monkey and knowing not what to do next.... that’s the time when your brain stops working and when your considering the “ fight or flight response” and the leaning is more towards the flight option and your body gears up to just let go and jump to the floor, you thanks your stars that you’re wearing your old faded pair. The denim acts as the shock absorber , taking the major brunt of your fall and leaves you relatively protected and un-injured ( is that a coinage ?) . Sigh! at last.. safe on the floor .. not defying gravity ... the ICE BLUE JEANS act as the saviour.
• SPRING : Spring blooms and so does a dash of love in your heart.. your first date with a first love.. the not so confident walk ..., the awkward conversation, who speaks first.. who takes the first move and then .. your dumb beau stutters & stammers and looks completely stoned.. and finally manages to pull out a four folded piece of paper from his pocket .. wow! .. the first love letter waiting to be read.. in pristine virginal form. Is it signed by blood ? sealed with a kiss perhaps? you really wonder and with a sly sheepish grin and with a pretence of being coy, stuff it into ... goshhh.. where do i hide it? .. from mom , dad, that troublesome lil bro and the maid ..??? and that’s where your ICE BLUE JEANS comes to your rescue. Pockets are checked, while folds are not.. quickly u stuff it into the leg folding of your jeans, say bye bye to beau, rush to that secret place under the water tank in the terrace , perch yourself in that cozy corner and open the precious piece of paper.. What bliss ! .. need to experience this unlimited flow of happiness ( love or infatuation .. whatever it is .. makes your day ).
• AUTUMN : Years go by and you become old by age but refuse to grow up (as the adage goes growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional ) and as a so- called responsible executive you gotta deal with numbers & statistics and excel spread sheets that make no sense , attend meetings that start with zeal but end with a squeal, conferences where loads of words are spoken - half go down the other ear and half washed down by the drinks with no take home messages, Audits that review the same things over & over again , committees that do nothing, appraisals , KPIS, Reports , the mad rat race of the corporate world where one can get lost trying to seek sense out of senseless corporate jargon ..not a very pleasant atmosphere to breathe. Stifling chaos breathing down your neck ,the soul pushes itself against the wall , struggling to breathe free! That’s when u decide... ok enough is enough ..rush home .. divest yourself of that boring formal attire) ,pack a back pack with minimals , get into that oh so loved denim and a T to top , start the bike and go on that long & relaxing ride down the countryside , breathe the greenery , adore the fields, admire the butterflies , cuddle the baby goats and stop at the riverside ...there again its your ICE BLUE pair that comes handy .. One fold, 2 fold, 3 folds, till your knee,, just roll up the denim and soak your weary legs in the water to be tickled and teased by the fish .. Can there be a substitute for this feeling? Nothing like denim to beat the autumn of the corporate world.. tackling the mid life crisis... the denim way !
• WINTER: The grind gets far.. as you graduate from mom to granmom , (or dad to granpa) the kids around you ,snuggling around, instigating, inducing ...baby sitting needs more stamina than any other task on earth . The irony of life is that just when your energy seems to be diminishing and the body seems to wither .. that’s the time when you are asked to perform the most physically draining tasks - take care of a bunch of super brats . Now ..that indeed can be an arduous venture ...and if you’re ill prepared for it .. you might just land up in the worst of trouble. And here is where the ICE BLUE JEANS sets you in action. Get into a pair and you’ll realize the oxygen pumping , adrenalin rushing, the energy surging forth and a sunshine smile peps up the wrinkly face ! Here we go kiddos! .. gotcha! .. watcha! ... granma ‘s game for anything.. hide n seek? thieves & robbers? Hop skip & jump? Street cricket ? Or just hiking across the road to buy ice candy? You name it ? im’ game ..the wonder denim does wonders to your attitude and transforms you into a power puff girl.. just like that!.. It’s magic !
Well!.. what started like a light hearted spoof on the ICE BLUE JEANS ends up discussing the entire philosophy of life across stages & seasons. I am sure this intellectual piece of work which is a result of exhaustive research and intensive analysis, perhaps may end up creating a cult. A cult of “ denim philosophy” – where happiness is the religion and spreading smiles .. the way of life ! One request folks .. if any one of you would be alive when i kick the bucket and bid my last adieu to the world.. kindly ensure that I am buried or burnt or thrown open to the eagles dressed in my old , faded, precious pair of ICE BLUE JEANS. 

The Being

The Being

the thirst of the soul went haywire
finding not .... its real desire
wealth, knowledge ,mirth or physical fire
what was real.. what was not.. the garb &attire ?

One day came a being
celestial and supreme
eyes with sparkle & gleam
like a misty dream

Shook the soul out of its trance
on a magical journey ..a spiritual seance
life unfolded into a mystical dance
all was unearthed .. with just a glance!

Who am i ? who are you ?
oh magical being? what is true ?
Life's a pregnant nothing he said ... and flew ...
leaving behing his spirit to see me through

Life's afloat with his spirit within
the pristine child who new no sin
opened my windows of knowledge to the brim
snuffing out dirt inside .. me .. an empty Bin!

Fly higher my pure and sweetest saint
there are sad faces there.. with glorious smiles.. paint..
spread your heavenly love.. let it flow with no retsraint
to all who need the gift of life( love)..grant.. ive no complaint!

What am I ?

Do not see me as someone’ wife
Someones lover
Someone’s mom
Someone’s aunt
Someone’s mistress
A Someone’s someone ….

Do not see me as a woman
The female form
Contours & crevices
shapes and sizes
statistics & the benchmarks
A curvaceous something …

Do not see the tears
Emotions & fears
softness, beauty
Compassion , Love
Sharing & care..
A tender something….

Face the truth .. I’m HUMAN!
I can be wax
I can be steel
I can be Ice
I can be fire
My appearance is deceptive
My emotions are perceptive
Most often productive
When required destructive
Don’t go by my soft exterior
disillusioned by the hard interior
Hardened by the scars insane!
Toughened by the blows of pain..
Moulded by the vagaries of life
Egged on by experiences ..rife!
No… not enlightened .. not a prophet .. not a saint !
A wayward fool .. “living life” .. no complaint!

Let Me Sleep

Let me sleep
In the rubble & the dust
And whatever remains of a burnt down heart
I try in vain to search …
For those little moments of time
That had once been mine.

What can one search in a grave yard
Talking to the dead
Disturbing their peace
Kindling old fires
Among the remaining bones & dust
What am I trying to find…?

Words that soothe ?
Smiles that heal?
A touch of love?
A hug of acceptance?
An arm to rest ?
or just an understanding gaze?

I hunt for those eyes
But none can match my gaze
I yearn for those words
But the din makes them so unintelligible

Like a lost child in the country fair
I try in vain..
The quest begins .. and ends with the din
Noise .. and more noise
Violent words.. Violent actions
Every moment .. a manifestation of violence!

No more …Stop it!
Can’t take it any more
I can’t stand pain.. Please
I can’t stand violence
Leave me alone!
Just leave me alone
All I need is a shade
A shadow of a tree and the lap of mother earth

Just let me sleep!
Completely blindfolded to the violence around
Let me sleep.. like a newborn infant.
Let me sleep.. sleep in peace.. for eternity!

Lets Love!

There’s something inside which tells me hey just grab the keyboard and let your fingers move … go ahead. Let your feelings flow out of your fingers and leave prints on people’s hearts. Not so much of a writer am I.. not a scribe .. not a pro .. perhaps a wayward emotional fool who gears up to the task more as a means of ventilation rather than attempt any serious writing .

So what have I now to ventilate.. the hidden feelings to bring forth ? I don’t know.. just a disturbance.. of things around.. of the way things are .. the bleeding of my nation.. the profuse spurting out of hatred that goes into the making of bombs and explosives .

In a nation that has always celebrated positive emotions like love, compassion, peace and harmony, when did hatred take an upper hand and why? Not a question we should ask the terrorists, the naxalite groups , the political lobbies , the religious fundamentalists, the caste conglomerations or the media lobby that thrives on sensationalising every single act of violence .

Let us question each one of us ..ask our inner selves ? What are we essentially made of ? and what are we now making of ourselves ? Where is that ever so natural feeling of love .. the need of relating to others, the need to reach out, to hold hands , to understand .. to embrace , to express , to hold together and to forgive ? Let us prod into our beings and try to unearth the naturalness that has somewhere down the line hidden beneath heaps of hypocrisy, selfishness, and save my skin type of ideology that has taken over us today.

I , me , my family .. there ends the circle. Other human beings around? what of them? Why should I care ? not my problem ? I don’t disturb anyone and no one need disturb me ? Is this all we are made of ? Is that where life begins and ends ?

I don’t know .. I can’t answer? I have my own perspective .. but all I know is . it hurts .. the pain is deep .. I can feel my heart bleed .. In a nation that has wroshipped Gandhiji and Mother Theresa all we have ended up being… is a bunch of self-centered islands, hating each other and fighting duels over petty selfish reasons , spitting poison and polluting the entire environment with feelings of fear, revenge , animosity and vehemence . This is not what the leaders envisaged? This is not for what we fought the 100 years of foreign rule? The endless sacrifices of the souls who fought for freedom and the long struggle seems an exercise in futility today. Shame! no other word suits. Shame!

Wake up friends .. F*** the politicians , the fundamentalists, the naxalites, the bureaucrats, the caste heads and brainwashers and bloodsuckers of all kinds. They can all go to hell!

Lets hold hands .. Let’s reach out , let’s embrace … friends, neighbours , peers, strangers .. any human soul we come across .. with genuine love , care , affection and acceptance . That’s what’s our innate nature . That’s what makes us natural and true human beings. Let’s begin today .. Spread love .. Spread smiles .. Spread cheer.. Let’s take a wow today to uphold Love… now and ever and always unmindful of circumstances. ! Come what May!

Touched by an Angel

A dedication to my sweet angel who set me free and gave me a changed “ ME”.

When pain tried to hold me down,
Smiles gave way to a nasty frown;
The world believed.. I was just a clown,
Din’t know how to hold my ground…

When life seemed just an existence,
No reason to stick on.. an awry penitence;
Dreary as ever.. did not make any sense
All that existed .. was a mighty grievance…

Out of the blue, a magic wand swayed,
A spiritual being.. on a platter laid..
Descended on earth, In response to my faith!
The angel for whom,, I had all along prayed !

My spirits rose.. a touch did heal
The soul responded.. to a divine feel!
The magic worked.. I “ woke” with zeal!
My hands folded .. the knees did kneel!

The touch did lift.. my eyes did see!
Joy surged within.. the pain did flee!
The dark clouds cleared.. setting me free!
I now can fly.. with genuine glee!

Oh my sweetest angel, lift me, let me fly!
Let me explore heaven.. soaring high & high!
On your divine wings, as I rest ….. I Cry!
For I know .. and I can feel.. divine bliss is nigh!