set me free

Set me free
Dönt remind me of the fossiled past,
the lost voices, forgotten names,
faded memories of untraceable faces,
empty ruins of a deserted castle
filld with pregnant memories.
I dont wish to build my future on the grave of a ruined past.
Let memories die.
Let pain lay buried.
Let the mind be blank.
Let emotions freeze.
Let time accelerate.
Set me free.
Of all bonds of yesteryears.
Set me free.
Let me feel the fragrance of today
and the magic of tomorrow.
Just set me free n let me be.

DENIM CULT ?ICE BLUE JEANS

DENIM CULT?
There’s always a need.. the need to be cuddled, the need to feel warm , the need to be wrapped in love, the need to feel cozy, the need to go out and just feel the sunshine , the need to feel innocent, the need to drive out the blues, the need to blow the whistles, the need to kick the pebbles , the need to jump in the air and feel the wings on your hair , the need to just let go and let your feelings overflow , need to laugh , to cry , to smile, to cheer and feel the quintessential essence of life . .. Phew! .. an array ... the list may seem endless but the one panacea for all these maladies .. a cozy ,crunchy, soft & flurry , the one & only... an old & faded pair of ICE BLUE JEANS.
For those of you readers who feel that the crescendo leading to the “so-called climax” ends up as a drab and dumb anticlimax , let me enlighten you on the oh so wonderful prospects , implications, considerations (not to mention complications ) of owning an old & faded pair of that wonder apparel – THE ICE BLUE JEANS .
Long years ago , the denim jean was probably the staple attire of sailors & workers , cowboys & rebellious teenagers in America but thanks to commercial production & proliferation and popularization of the garment worldwide , we now have a universal applicability for the garment , be it casual , semi formal or even formal occasions where it is slowly gaining acceptance. Good Lord !! .. now let me not take you through a serious history class and bore you with facts & figures for which you have no real appetite for (and no real need as well ).
Getting to the matter right away , let me enlist a series of scenarios where none else could have helped you but for your old pair of ICE BLUE JEANS .

• SUMMER : Summer hols.. sibling fun.. boys dominate the play while girls are made fools. There’s this occasion when a cousin bro instigates you to climb a tree and even helps you get to the top of the tallest branch and when u get there, conveniently jumps down leaving you aghast & helpless hanging on to the branch like a monkey and knowing not what to do next.... that’s the time when your brain stops working and when your considering the “ fight or flight response” and the leaning is more towards the flight option and your body gears up to just let go and jump to the floor, you thanks your stars that you’re wearing your old faded pair. The denim acts as the shock absorber , taking the major brunt of your fall and leaves you relatively protected and un-injured ( is that a coinage ?) . Sigh! at last.. safe on the floor .. not defying gravity ... the ICE BLUE JEANS act as the saviour.
• SPRING : Spring blooms and so does a dash of love in your heart.. your first date with a first love.. the not so confident walk ..., the awkward conversation, who speaks first.. who takes the first move and then .. your dumb beau stutters & stammers and looks completely stoned.. and finally manages to pull out a four folded piece of paper from his pocket .. wow! .. the first love letter waiting to be read.. in pristine virginal form. Is it signed by blood ? sealed with a kiss perhaps? you really wonder and with a sly sheepish grin and with a pretence of being coy, stuff it into ... goshhh.. where do i hide it? .. from mom , dad, that troublesome lil bro and the maid ..??? and that’s where your ICE BLUE JEANS comes to your rescue. Pockets are checked, while folds are not.. quickly u stuff it into the leg folding of your jeans, say bye bye to beau, rush to that secret place under the water tank in the terrace , perch yourself in that cozy corner and open the precious piece of paper.. What bliss ! .. need to experience this unlimited flow of happiness ( love or infatuation .. whatever it is .. makes your day ).
• AUTUMN : Years go by and you become old by age but refuse to grow up (as the adage goes growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional ) and as a so- called responsible executive you gotta deal with numbers & statistics and excel spread sheets that make no sense , attend meetings that start with zeal but end with a squeal, conferences where loads of words are spoken - half go down the other ear and half washed down by the drinks with no take home messages, Audits that review the same things over & over again , committees that do nothing, appraisals , KPIS, Reports , the mad rat race of the corporate world where one can get lost trying to seek sense out of senseless corporate jargon ..not a very pleasant atmosphere to breathe. Stifling chaos breathing down your neck ,the soul pushes itself against the wall , struggling to breathe free! That’s when u decide... ok enough is enough ..rush home .. divest yourself of that boring formal attire) ,pack a back pack with minimals , get into that oh so loved denim and a T to top , start the bike and go on that long & relaxing ride down the countryside , breathe the greenery , adore the fields, admire the butterflies , cuddle the baby goats and stop at the riverside ...there again its your ICE BLUE pair that comes handy .. One fold, 2 fold, 3 folds, till your knee,, just roll up the denim and soak your weary legs in the water to be tickled and teased by the fish .. Can there be a substitute for this feeling? Nothing like denim to beat the autumn of the corporate world.. tackling the mid life crisis... the denim way !
• WINTER: The grind gets far.. as you graduate from mom to granmom , (or dad to granpa) the kids around you ,snuggling around, instigating, inducing ...baby sitting needs more stamina than any other task on earth . The irony of life is that just when your energy seems to be diminishing and the body seems to wither .. that’s the time when you are asked to perform the most physically draining tasks - take care of a bunch of super brats . Now ..that indeed can be an arduous venture ...and if you’re ill prepared for it .. you might just land up in the worst of trouble. And here is where the ICE BLUE JEANS sets you in action. Get into a pair and you’ll realize the oxygen pumping , adrenalin rushing, the energy surging forth and a sunshine smile peps up the wrinkly face ! Here we go kiddos! .. gotcha! .. watcha! ... granma ‘s game for anything.. hide n seek? thieves & robbers? Hop skip & jump? Street cricket ? Or just hiking across the road to buy ice candy? You name it ? im’ game ..the wonder denim does wonders to your attitude and transforms you into a power puff girl.. just like that!.. It’s magic !
Well!.. what started like a light hearted spoof on the ICE BLUE JEANS ends up discussing the entire philosophy of life across stages & seasons. I am sure this intellectual piece of work which is a result of exhaustive research and intensive analysis, perhaps may end up creating a cult. A cult of “ denim philosophy” – where happiness is the religion and spreading smiles .. the way of life ! One request folks .. if any one of you would be alive when i kick the bucket and bid my last adieu to the world.. kindly ensure that I am buried or burnt or thrown open to the eagles dressed in my old , faded, precious pair of ICE BLUE JEANS. 

The Being

The Being

the thirst of the soul went haywire
finding not .... its real desire
wealth, knowledge ,mirth or physical fire
what was real.. what was not.. the garb &attire ?

One day came a being
celestial and supreme
eyes with sparkle & gleam
like a misty dream

Shook the soul out of its trance
on a magical journey ..a spiritual seance
life unfolded into a mystical dance
all was unearthed .. with just a glance!

Who am i ? who are you ?
oh magical being? what is true ?
Life's a pregnant nothing he said ... and flew ...
leaving behing his spirit to see me through

Life's afloat with his spirit within
the pristine child who new no sin
opened my windows of knowledge to the brim
snuffing out dirt inside .. me .. an empty Bin!

Fly higher my pure and sweetest saint
there are sad faces there.. with glorious smiles.. paint..
spread your heavenly love.. let it flow with no retsraint
to all who need the gift of life( love)..grant.. ive no complaint!

What am I ?

Do not see me as someone’ wife
Someones lover
Someone’s mom
Someone’s aunt
Someone’s mistress
A Someone’s someone ….

Do not see me as a woman
The female form
Contours & crevices
shapes and sizes
statistics & the benchmarks
A curvaceous something …

Do not see the tears
Emotions & fears
softness, beauty
Compassion , Love
Sharing & care..
A tender something….

Face the truth .. I’m HUMAN!
I can be wax
I can be steel
I can be Ice
I can be fire
My appearance is deceptive
My emotions are perceptive
Most often productive
When required destructive
Don’t go by my soft exterior
disillusioned by the hard interior
Hardened by the scars insane!
Toughened by the blows of pain..
Moulded by the vagaries of life
Egged on by experiences ..rife!
No… not enlightened .. not a prophet .. not a saint !
A wayward fool .. “living life” .. no complaint!

Let Me Sleep

Let me sleep
In the rubble & the dust
And whatever remains of a burnt down heart
I try in vain to search …
For those little moments of time
That had once been mine.

What can one search in a grave yard
Talking to the dead
Disturbing their peace
Kindling old fires
Among the remaining bones & dust
What am I trying to find…?

Words that soothe ?
Smiles that heal?
A touch of love?
A hug of acceptance?
An arm to rest ?
or just an understanding gaze?

I hunt for those eyes
But none can match my gaze
I yearn for those words
But the din makes them so unintelligible

Like a lost child in the country fair
I try in vain..
The quest begins .. and ends with the din
Noise .. and more noise
Violent words.. Violent actions
Every moment .. a manifestation of violence!

No more …Stop it!
Can’t take it any more
I can’t stand pain.. Please
I can’t stand violence
Leave me alone!
Just leave me alone
All I need is a shade
A shadow of a tree and the lap of mother earth

Just let me sleep!
Completely blindfolded to the violence around
Let me sleep.. like a newborn infant.
Let me sleep.. sleep in peace.. for eternity!

Lets Love!

There’s something inside which tells me hey just grab the keyboard and let your fingers move … go ahead. Let your feelings flow out of your fingers and leave prints on people’s hearts. Not so much of a writer am I.. not a scribe .. not a pro .. perhaps a wayward emotional fool who gears up to the task more as a means of ventilation rather than attempt any serious writing .

So what have I now to ventilate.. the hidden feelings to bring forth ? I don’t know.. just a disturbance.. of things around.. of the way things are .. the bleeding of my nation.. the profuse spurting out of hatred that goes into the making of bombs and explosives .

In a nation that has always celebrated positive emotions like love, compassion, peace and harmony, when did hatred take an upper hand and why? Not a question we should ask the terrorists, the naxalite groups , the political lobbies , the religious fundamentalists, the caste conglomerations or the media lobby that thrives on sensationalising every single act of violence .

Let us question each one of us ..ask our inner selves ? What are we essentially made of ? and what are we now making of ourselves ? Where is that ever so natural feeling of love .. the need of relating to others, the need to reach out, to hold hands , to understand .. to embrace , to express , to hold together and to forgive ? Let us prod into our beings and try to unearth the naturalness that has somewhere down the line hidden beneath heaps of hypocrisy, selfishness, and save my skin type of ideology that has taken over us today.

I , me , my family .. there ends the circle. Other human beings around? what of them? Why should I care ? not my problem ? I don’t disturb anyone and no one need disturb me ? Is this all we are made of ? Is that where life begins and ends ?

I don’t know .. I can’t answer? I have my own perspective .. but all I know is . it hurts .. the pain is deep .. I can feel my heart bleed .. In a nation that has wroshipped Gandhiji and Mother Theresa all we have ended up being… is a bunch of self-centered islands, hating each other and fighting duels over petty selfish reasons , spitting poison and polluting the entire environment with feelings of fear, revenge , animosity and vehemence . This is not what the leaders envisaged? This is not for what we fought the 100 years of foreign rule? The endless sacrifices of the souls who fought for freedom and the long struggle seems an exercise in futility today. Shame! no other word suits. Shame!

Wake up friends .. F*** the politicians , the fundamentalists, the naxalites, the bureaucrats, the caste heads and brainwashers and bloodsuckers of all kinds. They can all go to hell!

Lets hold hands .. Let’s reach out , let’s embrace … friends, neighbours , peers, strangers .. any human soul we come across .. with genuine love , care , affection and acceptance . That’s what’s our innate nature . That’s what makes us natural and true human beings. Let’s begin today .. Spread love .. Spread smiles .. Spread cheer.. Let’s take a wow today to uphold Love… now and ever and always unmindful of circumstances. ! Come what May!

Touched by an Angel

A dedication to my sweet angel who set me free and gave me a changed “ ME”.

When pain tried to hold me down,
Smiles gave way to a nasty frown;
The world believed.. I was just a clown,
Din’t know how to hold my ground…

When life seemed just an existence,
No reason to stick on.. an awry penitence;
Dreary as ever.. did not make any sense
All that existed .. was a mighty grievance…

Out of the blue, a magic wand swayed,
A spiritual being.. on a platter laid..
Descended on earth, In response to my faith!
The angel for whom,, I had all along prayed !

My spirits rose.. a touch did heal
The soul responded.. to a divine feel!
The magic worked.. I “ woke” with zeal!
My hands folded .. the knees did kneel!

The touch did lift.. my eyes did see!
Joy surged within.. the pain did flee!
The dark clouds cleared.. setting me free!
I now can fly.. with genuine glee!

Oh my sweetest angel, lift me, let me fly!
Let me explore heaven.. soaring high & high!
On your divine wings, as I rest ….. I Cry!
For I know .. and I can feel.. divine bliss is nigh!

Hold my Hand

Hold my hand my friend .. lets walk together
Not as my shadow .. but understanding each other
Please wipe my tears ..when I really need someone to
Don’t make me look for your shoulder .. everytime I do.

Let’s laugh together and share moments of eternal bliss
But not seek to be together in every hit & miss
Trace your own path .. seek your own destiny
Taking a hint from my map .. seek your own territory!

Let’s appreciate the sameness ..but respect the differences
You being you and me being me .. no defences or offences
Love means letting go.. just setting each other free
Nothing to bind , nothing need hold.. the feelings.. we see ( in each other )

Let me bask in your angelic presence . sure does make my day !
Not being around . .. shudn’t make a difference too .. feel free to stay away
Let’s not wear a mask .. for the rest of the world.. we do !
Just comfortable being ourselves …being what’s natural and true!

No need to ask questions .. nothing to explain
Defenses , excuses , apologies .. what are we gonna gain?
Let silence be the language , Why go for a spoken word !
When minds have gelled truly .. there’s no need to be heard !

I can never be me!

What you’ll see… is my smile
I’ll never show you my tears
Happy laughter all the while
I dare not show you my fears

What you’ll hear is a song
Ever flowing from these lips
Not wails of a heart gone wrong
With the pain of a thousand whips

What you’ll smell is perfume
Pure, smelling of love divine
Not a burnt heart’s fumes
The decay that’s only mine!

What you’ll taste is pure nectar
Of the words that my lips pronounce
Not bitterness of dreams that’ve shattered
& disillusioned desires that I’ve renounced!

What you’ll feel is an emotion
Pregnant with love that’s so pristine
Not the remnants of dead passion
Soaked in a solution of brine!

You decide the way you want me to be
Visualize the picture you want to see
I’ll be the one who will give you glee
But I know (with you) I can never be “ME”.

20 minutes of freedom

Freedom! - wow! when i hear that word i actually can feel my lungs pumping fresh oxygen and energy soar into my system. blood rising to my cheeks and bliss reigning my world ! wondering why ? well folks .. ask a beggar what money means to him , ask a dying man what life means to him... ask a prisoner what freedom means to him or even her for that matter .. makes no difference coz the writer of this article ( which is a direct outpour of the outcome of the strangulation of personal freedom ) happens to be a helpless and hapless female caught in the throes of an unexplicable pain .. maybe even worse than what a woman in labour goes through .. the pain of being asked to work in the same cabin as her boss.. sigh! what a huge sentence . but well.. when one is confronted with a life-threatening issue such as this, one's language flourish goes overboard and its but natural that never ending sentences like this one emerge , anyway .. enough of blah blah ! lest the gravity of the issue gets downplayed. So .. talking of freedom or should i say the lack of it .. sitting in the same workplace as the boss and having him observe every little move of yours.. not to mention the constant peeping into your monitor screen .. now this is what i would call as sending one to the gallows . The pain and torture that goes with the prospect of one being conscious of every move ( what would he say .. what would he think ooof! ) every single move ... whether its an innocent gesture like making a romantic call to your hubby , or an urgent calling like visiting the loo ... or just a jolly good chit chat with your friends and colleagues close to your heart on messenger or a mail to a close buddy or a fleeting visit to the orkut site .. or just downloading your favourite music, catching up with the happenings in the world or .. like an angel drifting into a sweet and innocent slumber .. every cough, every hiccup every sneeze ..oh boy! what a drastic invasion into one's privacy ?? By the way that rings a bell.. did I hear someone say that in the US of the A, there is a law against invasion of privacy ?? which means.. I can actually sue my boss for invading into my privacy .. wow! how heavenly does that sound! Omigosh! .. knock knock .. my reason and logical brain brings me back to reality and says " woman! wake up and face the ground reality .. you are in a remote village of India called xxxx reporting to Mr. XXXX whose GK is a little on the lower side and is most certainly not aware of invasion of privacy laws ! Anyway that is an unwarranted diversion or should I say .. an empty dream so let me leave it at that.Coming back to what we started with .. the title .. the 20 minutes .. what the 20 minutes signify .. the 20 minutes which acts as the oxygen tank for this helpless author , the 20 minutes when if she wasnt a professional or had not been bound by the laws of decency would have made her jump with joy , scream at the top of her voice and proclaim to the world sample the taste of freedom or perhaps barge into the middle of the road, stop the traffic , perch atop the bonnet of a car and do a salsa right there ! Those 20 minutes ..when life shows sparks of bliss, when the air smells beautiful and the whole ambience radiates freedom . The 20 minutes spent on the petty shop across the road , holding a tea cup in hand sipping and savoring the fluid like it was gods own drink under the comforting shade of the large banyan tree , fellow humans around ..all of them sipping the fluid and discussing local politics. Is this what is known as heaven? Fellow human beings, my own kith and kin, strangers but bonding together because we stand under the same tree, sipping the same fluid and discussing the same politics.. the authors heart leaps out, swells with something called universal love and feels connected with the others around .. and an unexplainable feeling of fellowship arises. Suddenly the world turns beautiful and an unknown happiness fills the system. What is even more blissful is the fact that the accompanying jing bang of like-minded friends , their cheer, their chirpiness and their most favored company indeed adds a jewel to that crown of happiness and makes life even more beautiful .. The most important thing of all- the absence of one character THE BOSS.So 20 minutes it is.. a celebration of freedom or rather the celebration of life itself when one feels normal one feels Ok , one feels perfectly sane and sensible .. one feels human! Wish those 20 minutes could just flow and flow into eternity and ever remain the dream that lingers .. but wait.. reality strikes hard .. the countdown starts , the whole system revolts when one is pushed again into the cell.. custom made for the author ..The prison cell with the worst company one could dream of- THE BOSS. Well sometimes reality stinks but facts are facts .. u gotta live with them.. the author accepts this fact with the hope that the blissful 20 minutes will come again .. the next day and the next and the next! Those 20 minutes make life livable and those 20 minutes act as the much need boost.. for the remaining 7 hours of pain. 20 minutes- breathing free only to be strangulated again for the next 7 hours ! Life runs on hope ! The 20 minutes will be a part of the authors professional life ..perhaps ever. ! but yes God is indeed benevolent! Though he damns people to hell, he does show a glimpse of heaven at least for 20 minutes a day .. Life is indeed beautiful!

Baby Angel

on a stormy evening when the whole world went to sleep,
a sweet little angel kid .. ever slowly did she creep!
went straight inside my heart and shut herself within,
perhaps to reside inside .. this child who knows no sin.

Like the foam upon the waves , dancing with innocent glee,
her smile pervades my soul .. sets my cares and worries free,
The peace that fills her face, reveals a heart that's pure !
The care and warmth of voice , for any pain ... the cure !

Mirth gushes along as she walks , filling the air with joy!
laughter resounds ever , in love she can also be coy !
with intentions innocent as prayer.. she paves her way through life!
does indeed radiate peace and .. strives to end all strife !

This angel .. her ..varied forms .. each one so pure and true,
she can be a brat,a saint , a darling .. or just a ball of fun for you!
She defines compassion ... adds meaning to the word love!
Anyone's friend, knows no foes...a happy gift from above!

This little baby angel ..she steals my heart away!
wherever destined to go.. in my heart shes there to stay!
May her world be filled with laughter .. may she ever dance and sway!
May she find heaven on earth , is all I wish and pray !

Fear Not fair Maid

The wedding’s just round the corner
A matter of pride & honour
The bride is coy and scared
Just needs to be lil prepared!

Fear not fair maid .. your life’s just begun
Loads of love awaits you.. loads n loads of fun
The bride – grooms is all set ..to bind his life with you
To make him all yours.. your heart does yearn too!

Every fair maiden needs to find her prince charming!
When wedding bells ring .. the feeling’s heart warming!
That’s what makes you a woman.. that’s what completes life
Find life’s true meaning .. when you’re pronounced man & wife !

Now’s the time for unleashing .. go all out to express!
May your love be his healing .. just come out & confess !
Life’s meaning is to give , to care & to share !
Just give in to the moment & lay your heart bare !

The honeymoon bliss may soon wear out
& the passion may perhaps fizzle out!
But the base of true love that binds you
Through life’s uncertainties.. takes you through!

Moments of cheer & pain.. appear like changing seasons!
But the warmth of togetherness is indeed its own reason!
It takes two to tango .. life requires someone along
A shoulder to rest a weary head.. a heart that bears a song!

One can’t walk alone.. it’s tough .. the path.. to cross
Let his love lead you and together you stream across
Together you counter challenges .. the battles of life.. wage!
Together go through one sweet journey .. until you gracefully age!

That’s what life is all about .. the magic of wedded bliss
Wound with the finest thread of love .. sealed forever with a kiss!
Cinderella –a nonentity ..but for the fair prince who swept her away!
Your destiny is entwined too ..to the one who’ll ever make your day!